Hyper Responsibility
by Dramabahn
Summary: Ash visits Gary on Saida island to find him depressed and exhausted. Ash must sort out the complicated barriers that Gary insists on putting up, and they both have to find out what is important. Shishi fic.
1. Heart Sick

**Hyper Responsibility**

Title: Hyper Responsibility

Pairing: Palletshipping

Rating: T

w00t w00t! My first real shishi fanfic. Hyper Responsibility is quite angsty, and I envy those who can write Gary and Ash happy-go-flirty. Eh... No. My fic has to have alcohol abuse, drug experimentation, torture, arguing, pain and... Well, that's what angst is all about, no? Rated T for suggestive themes, violence, and language.

Shishi is AshxGary. SatoxGeru. Palletship. Dun like dun read. There names are the english dub because I know a lot of people find it easier to read that way. I DUN OWN POKEMON. Though if I did...

Hyper Responsibility

chapter one

"I'm sorry I couldn't come with you Ash, but I have some urgent research here that I really need to take care of." Oak blinked apologetically towards Ash as he boarded the small boat that would take him to Saida Island.

Ash turned to wave at him. "Don't worry about it Professor!" his last word was cut off as the boat lurched to a start.

The Professor didn't look convinced, but he smiled and nodded, yelling his answer over the sound of the motor. "Alright Ash! Tell Gary I said hello!" He waved as the boat started off, but since his lip-reading skills were zero to none, he was not able to catch Ash's answer as he left the mainland.

Ash sighed, thinking about the trip ahead of him. It had been Professor Oak's idea to visit Gary, and he was ashamed for not thinking of it first. Truthfully he had been secretly bitterly disappointed when Gary had not shown up to welcome him back to Pallet after completing another stretch of his journey. Even though every time before he had been there and gone, Ash always looked forwards to returning to his home town, knowing that Gary would be there.

The Professor had said that Gary was busy with research. At first that had been a fine excuse. Ash was happy to enjoy the welcome of Oak, Tracy, and his mother, as well as all his old friends in Pallet. But it had been the haunting silence of his countryside home in the blackness of night that had planted other ideas in his head on the subject of Gary's absence. _What if he didn't want to see me?_ _What if_, Ash though miserably, _He met someone during his research?_

For Ash, who was paranoid of the worst, it seemed a likely thing to happen. He was never even sure where Gary and him had stood on their relationship. It was never pronounced -- maybe a fleeting kiss when no one was watching, secret messages in the barbed jabs of a rival. Holding his hand, and that one time . . .

He had put down the phone when those thoughts swirling in his mind. It was really stupid not to call ahead, especially when Professor Oak thought he had. But Ash didn't think he could bear it if Gary told him he couldn't come. And coming after he had been refused would have been a disastrously awkward, but inevitable. _What if? What if? What if?_ He didn't realize that a low whimper had escaped his rose-coloured lips.

"Hey are you alright? You're looking kind of ill." The friendly voice of the researcher who was driving the boat who had introduced himself as Jared, called to Ash from over his shoulder, his voice tinged with an Australian accent. The raven-haired teen looked up groggily, waving his head to indicate he was fine, and gracing Jared with a fake smile. When the turquoise-haired man turned his head back, Ash clutched his stomach and held in tears -- it was so obvious. Gary obviously didn't want to see him, or he would have come.

Ash's stomach had grown no more resistant to his doubt in Gary when the island came into view. In fact, if all possible, it got worse. Ash wanted to ask Jared to turn back. He didn't want to -- he almost had. As soon as he opened his mouth the researcher had exclaimed how glad he was that they were nearing the island -- without refueling, he wouldn't be able to make it back to the mainland.

His breath quickened as they neared the dock, a lone figure standing to greet them. Despite all his misadventures, Ash's had never been serious enough to be hospitalized and learn breathing exercises, which may have been helpful now for his head was feeling light and dizzy.

"Ash?" he blinked, there was something about the way that Gary said his name . . . Like a slight accent on the _a_ that he couldn't quite place. Gary had a slightly more rough, nasal voice . . . Maybe it was the slur between the _a _and the _s_.

"Ash? Ash are you alright?" The words Gary spoke snapped Ash back to reality, because starring at the ginger-brown haired teen so intently in public had to be a dream.

"G-Gary!" he stuttered, but Jared covered for his distraction.

"He didn't look too well coming over, but said he was feeling fine." said Jared, the driver, looking at the intense staring match happening between Ash and Gary with concern. "Gary, I have some more stuff to do on the mainland, I'm gonna go get some more fuel and head back, okay?" he didn't wait for an answer, but turned away.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Gary stepped forward, "Ash, I'm sorry I couldn't come home, I really wanted to, I promise . . ."

"You wanted to?" Asked Ash, blinking in surprise after he had convinced himself that Gary would never want to see him again.

"'Course I wanted to." Gary sighed, dragging a hand through his brown hair, and he grabbed Ash's hand to pull him towards the path that led through a dense group of trees. Ash allowed himself to be led, until Gary dropped his hand and Ash followed him silently. Gary _had_ looked happy to see him, but as Ash glanced at his friend, he realized that Gary looked and sounded tired.

"Gary, are you okay?" Asked Ash, concern etched in his voice as he looked at Gary, who was staring ahead on the path unblinking.

"Yeah I'm . . . okay." he still sounded tired, his voice dragged slightly. But as soon as he turned and met Ash's eyes, the dark haired boy found himself dragged into the woods lining the path. He felt an instinctual panic as his foot caught and he fell, but Gary caught him and held him against the tree. The force of Gary's movement and the desperation in his eyes took Ash's breath away.

Gary didn't kiss him like Ash had expected, but just leaned on Ash, pressing his face into Ash's shoulder. Ash stood there, blinking is surprise as Gary clung to him, before speaking gently and hesitantly, "Gary?"

"I missed you." he murmured into Ash's jacket. And Ash relaxed, placing his hand on Gary's back. Was it possible that pokemon research was harder then it seemed? Ash had even thought that Gary was giving up, and had wanted to move onto something easier. Yet Gary had always seemed alive and confident when he was training, and now he seemed exhausted and worn out. Ash felt his shoulder going numb, "You just gonna stand here and use me as a pillow?"

"Huh." Ash felt a breath of air where Gary's mouth was as he lifted his head slightly. "You're almost as bad a pillow as you are a trainer." Ash's eyes widened, but Gary's telltale smirk confirmed that as usual, Gary was far from serious. "I need to get back . . ." he said few moments, with a resigned sigh he released Ash from the tree and stepped backwards, letting out a yelp as his foot caught on some ground plants and he tumbled backward. Ash reached for his hand instantly, but the other teen was also off balance and they both crashed down in a flurry of leaves and clothing. Gary opened his eyes and laughed, as did Ash once he knew Gary was alright. Their laughter dissipated into something weak, and Gary pulled him up off the ground.

"Come on Ash, I want you to see the lab!" he said, showing the first enthusiasm he had since Ash had arrived.

"Race you!" Ash cried, running forward while watching behind his shoulder. His words echoing in his head, emerging from a time long ago when they were both just children in Pallet Town.

"If you think I'm losing to a loser like you, you're wrong as usual." Gary growled, catching up with Ash.

"Not like it hasn't happened before." Ash said, meaning it playfully as he passed Gary, but Gary's eyes flashed darkly at his words, and by the time they reached the white building that Ash assumed was the lab, Ash was in the lead, with Gary lagging behind. He stopped to admire the way that Gary's white lab coat flared after him, kept dancing by the wind as he ran. "You look good in the lab coat." he said to Gary with a smirk, and Gary shrugged it off as he got close enough and attempted to wrestle Ash into the white coat with the words, "I bet you'll look better!" A women's voice cut through Ash's sounds of protest as he was smothered in the jacket.

"Oak?"

Gary turned around abruptly, shoving Ash (along with the coat) forcefully to the ground. "Professor Scymore! Sorry Professor, we were just, um, fooling around." Gary stuttered, bowing his head slightly.

"Oak, I feel I don't need to remind you that this is a professional establishment. "Fooling around" as you so tastefully put it, will not be tolerated." Her voice was high pitched with a wheezy puff behind each syllable. As Ash's head escaped the stranglehold of Gary's labcoat, which he was sure had the intention of taking his life, he saw the women who Gary referred to as Professor Scymore. She had pinched eyes and poorly dyed blond hair, whose colour still failed to disguise the obvious aging and silver-gray unerdeath the layer of grease on each strand. Ash felt a protective growl rise in his throat at the way she looked at Gary with sparkly pale blue eyes.

"Who is this Oak?" she snapped, pointing a long and skinny finger at Ash's body and the crumpled lab coat. Gary moved in front of Ash slightly, as the black haired boy struggled to right himself and dust off Gary's once pristine coat.

"I'm --" Ash began, but Gary quickly cut him off. "This is Ash Ketchum, my old friend."

Scymore stepped forward, forcing Gary away from Ash. She narrowed her eyes and thrust out a hand, of which Ash took hesitantly. Her grip was firm, and Ash felt her overly long nails grate the soft flesh of his hand. "Your friend." she said, and Ash shivered internally at the glance that passed between the Professor and Gary, before she turned back to Ash. "I expect that your _friend_ will not disturb your work, Oak." Ash felt as if he has missed out on something as he noticed a faint blush appear underneath Gary's brown hair, and Scymore's face lit up gleefully as she brushed past him into the building.

Ash was, to say the very least, unnerved by his introduction to Professor Scymore. He felt worse however, when Gary spoke next. "That's Professor Scymore. My boss. The head researcher of Saida Research Center." his voice sounded totally defeated and resigned, unlike the challenging and confident Gary he had been as a trainer. With a sinking feeling of loathing and fear, Ash understood who was changing Gary so much . . .


	2. Unfair Demands

Two reviews and I had only posted the first chapter Thanks! The first three chapters of this story have already been written, and were first posted on the lj palletshipping community. The fourth I'm polishing up right now. )

Hyper Responsibility

chapter two

It seemed that Gary predicted the words that Ash was about to speak before he spoke them. When Gary interrupted him, he had half expected it was to sensor his statement. The real reason only added air to the flame to his feelings against the Professor of Saida Island. "_Professor_ Scymore --" Gary's voice was clipped and meaningful towards Ash, yet his words sounded like they were just a repeated sentence, as Ash could tell they were not his own. "Is to be treated with the utmost respect at all times."

Gary frowned as Ash's jaw dropped, and an impatient spark entered his stormy eyes, "She's not a bad person, Ash." Ash closed his mouth, but Gary's whispered statement seemed like he was trying to convince himself more then anyone else. Ash reached out for Gary's hand, but the brown haired teen flinched away, and he entered the lab without further explanation.

Ash felt near physical pain at Gary's rejection. Did he really feel so strongly about Scymore's position that he was angry? It was beyond Ash's reasonings of why Gary would submit to such a horrible women, but his thoughts were pushed aside like the opening door when he saw Gary's workplace. The white building looked bigger from the inside; with it's high domed ceiling and panels of glass filling the room with bright sunshine reflecting off the pristine white-washed walls. It was kept cool by the hard-working air conditioning system, which, judging by it's chilly effectiveness, was probably powered by ice pokemon at the other end.

"Wow, this is great Gary!" Ash exclaimed, ignoring the curious looks of the other researchers who were busy doing experiments and research at the many terminals and glass cases which lined the edge of the circular building. Gary smiled beside Ash and nodded, a proud glint in his eye.

"I'm lucky to work here. Saida lab is a fantastic research center . . . I like it here better then my base in Sinnoh. It's nice to have people for company too, as much as I like pokemon." _You could always have called me. _Ash didn't answer right away, and Gary took his silence the wrong way. "Heh, I guess you're right. I do like pokemon, and I'm glad Umbreon wasn't here to hear that."

"Gary?" Ash spoke, taking a sidelong glance at the other teen, who was eyeing someone else's lab specimen possessively.

"Hm?" Gary answered, not taking his eyes off what looked like a fragile pokemon fossil that a man with long black hair was poking at under a oversized microscope.

"I never said anything." he said fondly, shaking his head at Gary's sentence, which had been a reply to something he had never said.

Gary tore his gaze away from the other researcher's study and looked at Ash with a smug smile. "Well now Ashy-boy, I think I know well enough that --" _that what? _Ash had a moment to wonder why Gary's eyes had slid left, why his smile dropped, and why his voice lost it's warmth so abruptly before he changed mid-sentence. "I mean, I just guessed you were going to say that, Ash."

"Um, alright Gary." Ash replied awkwardly, peering at his friend with concern. "Where is Umbreon anyway?" On cue, a dark blue haired lady appeared around the corner, and the furry black head of Gary's favorite pokemon followed shortly after. The women had deep red eyes that were framed in big black glasses, which, coupled with the way she blinked exaggeratedly, gave her a mousy and slightly geeky look.

"'Bre!" barked the Eevee evolution fondly as it came to stand beside Gary, and the mousy women followed it, her lab coat identical to Gary's own. Gary rubbed Umbreon's head before greeting the women fondly, "Dara! This is --"

"Ash Ketchum! It's so great to finally meet you Mr. Ketchum!" Ash grinned at being called "Mr" and shook her hand warmly. "Gary's said so much about you!" she nearly squealed, making Ash laugh and scratch his head in embarrassment.

"He has?" Ash asked, imagining that Dara was his greatest fan and had recorded all his public battles on television. "Has he told you how great a trainer I am?"

"Um, well, no. But he did tell me how hilarious you are!" Ash's eyes narrowed somewhat as he flashed a glance at Gary, who was grinning in embarrassment which was combined with nervousness when Ash looked at him. Meanwhile, Ash had ignored Dara's babbling and only tuned in in time to hear, ". . . And imagine! While Gary had caught over two hundred pokemon, all you had caught was thirty Tauros!" her laughter sounded like a cross between church bells and a sparrow's screech, and a few researchers turned around, making the "lower the volume" sign with their hands, only to Dara's embarrassment.

"Well, I admit I am a pretty funny guy." Ash bragged shamelessly, raising his chin a little, while Gary smirked at him with the same bemused expression he usually got before reducing Ash to tears with some contradiction to whatever greatness he felt fit to claim. Gary suddenly frowned though, his sharp eyebrows drawing together, "I don't talk about him all the time." he snapped, causing Ash and Dara to look up curiously.

"Well, maybe not all the time, but you do talk a lot about --"

"No, I don't." Gary hissed, and his black pokemon seemed to agree with what he said, supporting him with a brisk, "Umbreon!" and nodding it's head sharply. Dara shut up immediately, and looked thoroughly startled. Ash caught the eye of the Umbreon, who stared at him with deep red eyes before jerking it's head upward as though indicating something only to Ash. The black haired teen followed it's signal, looking towards the wall of the lab, where a simple white security camera was positioned, staring directly at him. Ash looked back at the Umbreon, whose attention was now not on Ash but on the flustered Dara, and when he looked back, the camera was concentrated in another direction.

Ash went on his juvenile auto-pilot for the next few hours. Although Gary insisted he wanted nothing more then to catch up on whatever was going on outside of the island (those exact words of course, no mention of Ash's life at all) but Dara and he had some work to do, and since Ash's visit had not been pre-arranged there was nothing he could do. Ash feigned indifference pretty poorly, but Gary was too distracted to notice his disappointment anyway.

He felt quite out of place sitting in Gary's revolving chair while the two researchers babbled about things he couldn't understand. Auto-pilot had decided that to avoid the certain crash it needed to occupy itself. Fortunately, Ash was not very hard to amuse, and he didn't notice Gary grinning while watching him spin around in the chair, looking as fascinated as a five year old who just discovered the miracle of rotating desk chairs.

When he felt as if another few spins would make him throw up, Ash stopped the chair from turning around and watched with the same fascination as the room spun around him, and he grinned when Gary's stormy blue eyes swam in front of him. "How does it feel to be the center of the universe now?"

"Feels terrible." Ash groaned, and Dara appeared beside Gary, wiping her hands on her lab coat. She laughed her particular laugh again, which did nothing for Ash's well being. "'Breee!" Umbreon agreed, placing it's head under Ash's right hand and pushing against it for a free head rub, it's intelligent red eyes watching Ash in scrutiny. "You two gonna finish anytime soon?" he asked as his head cleared, leaning back indulgently in the chair, stressing the last word to indicate how bored he actually was.

"Yep. Actually --" Gary was cut off by a familiar voice crawled over the loudspeaker. "THE POWER WILL BE GOING OUT IN ONE HOUR. PLEASE FINISH YOUR WORK AND RETURN TO THE RESIDENCE."

Gary clicked his tongue, and Ash's eyebrows raised. "Why is the power going out?" he asked.

"The power goes out every night at ten o'clock sharp." replied Dara neatly, "The power on Saida Island is a combination of electric pokemon and energy shipped in. Because we're an island, the shipped energy is expensive, so Scymore's new regulations mean that the power goes out at ten o'clock. Unless Scymore requests to work longer, everyone is expected to return to the residences when the power goes out. Gary, you're not working late again tonight are you?" she inquired, turning to Gary.

Gary looked troubled, much to Ash's concern, and again a tired look haunted his features. "No I . . . I don't think I could do another late night." he sighed heavily, and Ash could barely catch the phrases with which he mumbled off. "So little time though, too tired . . ."

But as they headed for the exit to the facility, Jared was standing beside the door with his arms crossed. "Hey Gary, Scymore says you're on again tonight." his voice was colder then usual Ash noted uneasily as Gary opened his mouth. "Jared, I can't! Ash just came to visit and I've worked late the whole past week . . ." Gary trembled slightly with anxiousness, and Ash stepped up beside him.

"Look man, take it up with the boss, not me." Jared said, avoiding Gary's gaze by picking some dirt out from under his nail. A flash of defiance that was familiar to only Ash entered Gary's eyes, but he was unsettled how quickly it disappeared to be replaced by resignation. "You're free to go, Dara." Jared finished, looking at her then quickly looking away. Ash expected Dara to say something of protest, because she seemed to be Gary's friend, but she just nodded mutely and passed Ash to open the door.

"Hold it, what is this place, a prison?" Ash asked, glaring at Jared, who was ignoring him.

"Ash, don't." Gary pleaded, and his eyes made Ash nearly quiver. _Why was Gary so insistent on excepting the foul treatment of his supposed colleagues? _"Dara, could I ask you to take care of Ash 'till I can get out of here?" he tossed her a ring of small silver keys, one of which Ash assumed was the key to his residence. Dara fumbled clumsily before catching the keys and nodding.

"Come on Ash." she said, and Ash peered at Gary once more, but Gary waved his hand in dismissal.

"Go Ash. I'll be back in around one or so." Ash reluctantly tore his eyes away from Gary and turned to Dara and the door. But a quick glance at Gary when he thought Ash wasn't looking saw him slumped tiredly, his eyelids closed in exhaustion.

Biting his lip anxiously, Ash followed Dara out of the lab. As soon as he was out, he turned to Dara, his voice intended to be hurtful as it was angry. "What the Hell was that?" he snapped. Ash usually wasn't a very angry person -- but it should have been no surprise to him that anything with Gary involved would make his emotions flood so.

"Ash." Dara's voice was a whisper, and she was obviously intimidated by even his small show of aggression.

"No, tell me what's going on. The professor,_Professor Oak_, told me that when he visited Gary was happy. What's going on? He's exhausted. Can't you tell he's not well?" Ash lowered his quickly rising voice when he saw tears in Dara's voice. His excess anger was transferred to his fists, which were clenching and unclenching of their own accord. i _It was only Gary that could make him this angry /i ._ "I want to know what happened. The Professor said Gary was making great progress and that he was really happy here. He also mentioned a gifted little girl with an Ivysaur he said I should talk to. Where's she?"

"Please Ash, I'll tell you. Just don't be angry. Just, follow me." she blinked at him, and Ash's knitted eyebrows relaxed slightly, as long as he was going to get answers, he followed Dara as they walked and she explained. "You have to understand that when Gary's grandfather visited, things were very different here. Saida was less busy. We had just finished an incredible breakthrough by resurrecting an Aerodactyl." she paused and nodded at Ash's disbelief before continuing.

"I was also . . . Head of the research projects on the island. But Saida research center doesn't stand alone. We're funded by an organization that collects private donation and divides it among several research centers in Kanto, Johto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn. Our sponsors weren't interested in the field of research we were working in though. A group which they were heavily pressured by was pushing to stop the resurrection, claiming it to be against the laws of nature. I think it was my attempt to change their minds that had me demoted. When I tried to tell them that ancient pokemon were worth-wild, they took it as a sign that I couldn't handle another type of research, since the former was my specialty. So I was demoted and Professor Scymore was sent in to oversee the research center."

Dara sighed, and Ash could tell that she was still suffering from frustration from her halted project and demotion. He was trying to picture her speaking to a group of fundamentalists on the 'laws of life', and he had to admit that the final result did not surprise him. Dara had already proved that she didn't do well when faced with hostility. "Scymore pushed for changes as soon as she was made head of the new project. An expansion was set for construction on the lab, and the trouble started for Gary when he brought attention to himself by protesting it, since it was depleting the small island's natural resources."

"That's called standing up for whats right, not 'bringing attention to yourself.'" Ash grumbled meaningfully, and Dara looked embarrassed, quickly resuming the story.

"He was ignored of course. But I remember she asked me once who he was. When I said he was Professor Oak's grandson, she seemed elated, and I thought it was because she was glad to have him on the team. So of course I started to talk about how great a researcher he was, but then . . ." Ash raised an eyebrow as she paused, and she continued, though her voice contained a note of confusion. "All she said was, 'Poor girl.' and after that, she seemed to be out to get Gary at every step. More changes took place. The new construction was draining funds, so Scymore instigated strict rules on the power flow. And then --" Dara brushed something out of her eye, and Ash looked at her curiously, frowning with empathy as she explained. "She sent Krystal, my little sister, away. She said that there wasn't room for a little girl in a professional establishment. I didn't protest . . ." her voice quavered, "But Gary did. He stood up for her, and ever since Scymore has been making him work late, and sometimes she calls him to her office to ask for 'special reports' that no one else seems to have to give her."

Ash opened his mouth, not surprised that Scymore was at the center of Gary's problems, but Dara cut him off quickly, waving her hands to indicate that he yield. "You shouldn't worry though. Scymore is a very nice person."_ A very nice person? _ Ash choked in disbelief, staring at Dara as she hurried on. "She wouldn't actually hurt Gary or anyone I'm sure. She only wants the best for the center, and it's really not our place to question her and put our jobs in jeopardy."

_But, _Ash thought forebodingly, _If his attitude's anything to judge by, Scymore is already hurting Gary.  
_

_To be continued . . .  
_


	3. A Professional Establishment

Hyper Responsibility

chapter three

Ash couldn't stand to be with Dara after he had learned she had stood beside Scymore and chose to ignore anything wrong with Gary. She looked hurt, but handed him the keys without a word, and led him to the residence. Ash didn't speak, and Dara seemed to take the hint. Instead, he conversed with his own thoughts within his head as he took in the beauty of the island, quickly forming a map for himself.

He had seen the main research building, a huge dome that lead off into four quadrants where the larger experiments and equipment were kept. The extension was not in currently in use, as the final touchings were being added to it, but Dara said it was east of the main laboratory, and barely visible was the white hint of a building above the treetops on the eastern side of the island. The island itself between the lab and the staff residence was quite scenic. Wild flowers and towering trees lined the small dirt paths, and thick island fauna had conquered much of the island. Ash would have questioned Dara if he wasn't so reluctant to speak to her, on the subject of why they had seen so little pokemon. Oak had spoken of Farfetch'd and Lapras, and where was Gary's Aerodactyl?

"This is it." Dara said quietly, and Ash looked up. The residence had the feel of a lowscale hotel -- a two leveled strip separated by wide windows that had the white curtains drawn. The stucture sheltered the concrete grounds, on this flat gray surface a tennis net had been set up. and a small amount of greenspace interrupted the smooth stone. The main office appeared as a link between the two part of the residence -- forming the corner of the two strips. It was taller then the other flat, concrete buildings, with a brown shingled roof and handsome window moldings that made it look rather cottage-like. The island weather allowed for flat roofs, which had almost been taken over by crawling ivy and vines since it's construction, and it was obvious that considerable work went into preventing the greenery from conquering the shining surface of the solar panels. Somewhere on the wall of each home was a rusty pair of numbers, and some people had managed to hang Pidgey-feeders and wind chimes off the narrow overhang from the roof, and the weak moonlight caught on them as a cool night breeze made them shiver and sing.

"Gary's is room forty-eight. It's the third key." Dara said as they walked to the nearest entrance -- a concrete starwell that lead to the second level. On top a concrete pathway with a black painted railing lead to the locked doors of the second level room; as long as the owner had the key, entrance did not require going into the main office. Dara went one way, and Ash parted her company, the order of the numbers forcing him to go in the opposite direction. He could feel the smooth concrete under his shoes, still warm from the day's sun. He paused a moment to look at the view of the residence and surrounding area that the balcony path offered, the trees looking not sinister at night like they had in pallet, but silent and aware.

He yawned, but tried not to admit to himself he was tired after seeing what _tired_ really was on Gary's face, and turning to the wood door of number forty-eight, Ash fumbled with the keys until the very last one opened the door to Gary's suite.

Ash had expected Gary's room to be minimalist and as freakishly tidy as his control freak tendencies would insist. It was a mess. Papers were stern everyway, but they're disarray seemed recent -- the papers all looked the same as if they have rose from the same origin. But if they belonged together they're order was forever lost; the papers where tossed all over the small apartment-like space -- and beneath the scattered documents the room was pristine. Ash wanted to feel suspicious about the lack of order in Gary's residence, but he couldn't deny himself a yawn and wondered if Gary would mind lending him the bed, or if he'd be stuck on the couch. "Hm..." Ash blushed, wondering if Gary would mind sharing the bed before he spotted a video phone in the place where a TV would dominate the center piece of the room that appeared to be the living space off of the tiny kitchenette and the bedroom.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Ash stepped over the strewn papers to investigate it. Luckily, the model was simple and rather old, so Ash didn't have too much of his usual trouble with anything that had more technology in it then a television remote. He dialed Professor Oak's lab, realizing just as the phone rang that the professor was probably asleep. He was about to hang up when the old machine crackled to life, revealing a rather garbled but apparently fully awake gray-haired Oak on the other end.

"Hey professor!" Ash spoke, hoping it didn't come out so crackly on the other end.

A burst of static heralded Oak's reply. "Ash, good to hear from you! Your Pikachu wouldn't let me go to bed until you called." The professor laughed, and motioned to something out of the camera's view. A bright yellow face blinked and appeared before Ash on the screen, and Ash reached out before remembering that Pikachu was back at Professor Oak's corral.

"Pikachu! How you doing?" Ash exclaimed, wiping his tired frown away with a fond grin at the electric mouse pokemon.

"Pika, Pikachuuuu!" it trilled affectionately,

"Pikachu misses you Ash." Professor Oak said, patting the Pikachu between the ears. Ash frowned slightly, looking at his pokemon apologetically. "But I think it likes getting to see all its old friends. Squirtle, Bulbasaur and Pikachu are getting up to quite a bit of mischief around here." he chuckled good naturally, while the Pikachu squeaked in embarrassment, scratching it's head shyly.

"Hey Pikachu, don't give the professor too much trouble." Ash said playfully as the pokemon replied with a questioning, "Chu?"

"Pikachu and I are getting along fine Ash. In fact, I've composed a poem!" Oak paused, and Ash tried not to wince at the idea of Oak reciting some more of his poetry. "Pikachu and I - Research never goes awry - As summer goes by." Oak preformed his rhyming Haiku, pausing briefly between each stanza.

Ash grinned weakly and nodded reassuringly. "Gee Professor, that's really . . . something."

The Professor grinned, "I'm glad you think so Ash." he brought up a hand to his mouth to cover a yawn. "We really should be getting off to bed soon though. How's Gary doing?"

Ash opened his mouth to admit that Gary didn't look like he was doing well enough, but with a startling suddenness, the video connection crackled and the screen turned fuzzy and shut down, the last light a fading little circle as the monitor shut off. Ash grumbled as he heard the phone go dead too, but he was too tired to try and fix the stupid thing, so he put down the phone gently and made the executive decision that since he was a guest, Gary could take the couch.

He wandered into Gary's paper-littered bedroom and cleared the documents off the bed before curling up and closing his eyes, feeling suddenly rather alone without Pikachu sleeping beside his head. Ash found it hard to fall asleep quickly, his mind hovering on the realm between awareness, dream, and darkness.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. You can count on me. Count on _me._ I've got to be the best. Can't afford ... Best. Better then all others. Of the highest quality, excellence, or standing. Professional establishment ... Mm ... Want ... Asleep." Ash's eyes cracked open as he was awakened by a noise from the living area. He quickly recognized it as Gary's voice, but realized something wasn't right. He realized Gary was speaking to someone else, but even straining his ears he could hear nothing but Gary's murmuring, and the distraught and chopped way in which he spoke disturbed Ash.

"No! No, it has nothing to do with ... Always ... Do whatever ... Can't ... Not really ... Not really fair!" his words were slurred with disorientation and exhaustion, and many words were lost to Ash as Gary's unsteady voice broke and wavered around his murmuring. "No, no. You're right, you're right. You're always right, right, right. You are of the highest quality, excellence, or standing. Me too ... highest quality, excellence, or standing ..." And Gary repeated himself, his voice rising slightly in volume and anxiety, and Ash wanted to go comfort him when he sounded panicked. But something held Ash back, even as he thought he heard a sob from the other room. "I just want to be the best. I won't ... again. No. I'll do whatever it takes."

When Gary ceased talking to himself, Ash crept carefully to the door of the bedroom, making sure not to creak the floor at all through the fuzzy pinkish red carpet. He poked his head out of the door cautiously and saw Gary sprawled out over the couch, his mouth partly open and his legs strewn over the under-sized makeshift bed, his arm lying lifeless on the side so his knuckles brushed the carpet. Ash realized that the only non-paper covered surface when he entered the room was the couch -- the bed had been made but he had still had to clear it of research documents. Did Gary not even bother sleeping in a bed anymore?

But before he could ponder those thoughts, Ash was momentarily taken away by the sight of Gary sleeping, for once without an intense expression on his face, but as the moonlight bathed the brown haired teen's face, Ash choked on his breath. Everything about Gary was so intense. All the time that intensity was so contained, and Ash liked feeling as if he was the only one who could see it and control it. When he was working, when we was training, when he was battling ... When he was kissing Ash ... Gary knew more then anyone how much effort appearing effortless really took.

Gary's cheeks were stained with a trail that lead down to his cheeks, glittering treacherously in the moonlight. Gary had been crying. Or, Ash reminded himself sternly, Gary had been washing his face. Of course that was a more likely idea, since Gary never -- would never cry. Ash just stood there for a moment, watching Gary with wide eyes as his friend's chest rose and fell with labored breaths that Ash didn't realize were irregular -- because, just like he had washed his face, Gary had also obviously been running quite hard.

Ash didn't realize how hard he had been holding onto the door frame until he let go. His hand slipped away and he went back to bed, curling up with his knees against his chest and shivering even under the warm covers, blocking out the sounds of Gary's heavy breathing. He hadn't noticed a thin, damp trail of blood that had crusted in Gary's already russet-tinted hair, and his ears were carefully tuning out the involuntary shudder that followed each labored breath.

_To be continued..._


	4. Loving Smoke

Finally, chapter four! Sorry it took so long! I'm very grateful to everyone who took the time to review, feedback is great for motivation! x3 Thanks to everyone who didn't review but subscribed, I really appreciate that too

I want to point out that I'm also doing this beta-less, since my usual beta can't bring himself to read slash. But I like releasing chapters without passing them around beforehand, so if you notice any errors or think something should be fixed, just mention it in a review and I'll do my best to fix it.

**Hyper Responsibility**

chapter four

"Something's got me falling apart

Something's got me losing all hope in you

Something's got me under control

I'm dangerous… dangerous..."

- _Dangerous_ by _Hed PE_

The weatherman had kindly decided that it was time for a metaphor, and as Ash's feelings hung over his head like a brooding storm, ugly gray clouds sailed in to replace the former sunny skies. This he discovered as he cracked his soar, salt-crusted eyes in the morning and opened the window. He looked around the room in a dreamy daze, hoping that Gary wouldn't notice the puddle of drool he had left on the pillow, and wiping his eyes lazily with the back of his hand, before letting out a yawn.

He mumbled for pikachu softly, before he turned around, sensing a presence nearby. Gary was there -- leaning against the door frame casually, his eyelids half-closed, and a lazy, seductive smirk present on his face. Through his morning, coffee-less cloud, Ash frowned, something important prodding at the back of his brain. But it couldn't be more important then Gary. Gary who's auburn hair was ruffled from sleep, and who had mastered the art of looking good with bedhead, and whose chest was currently very exposed...

Ash could only subconsciously hope that he wasn't drooling as his eyes met Gary's, who took a step forward. "Morning sunshine," he growled, grabbing Ash roughly and pulling him into a morning kiss. Ash was immediately distracted. Gary tasted like the coffee he had recently consumed, and something else Ash had only tasted a few times before. Had he been fully conscious the idea of alcohol on Gary's lips might have alarmed him. He was enjoying himself, but Gary's kiss was just a little too intense, and had enough teeth in it to bother Ash...

He tried to pull away as his morning daze was fading quickly, but Gary made a needy whimper and grabbed him forcefully, only causing Ash to jerk away instinctively. Gary wasn't fazed as Ash broke free, gasping for air. "Day off." he said roughly, and Ash narrowed his eyes in annoyance at such rough treatment in the morning when he would rather just get a chance to stare at Gary.

"You're not too wordy today," he snarked, aware that Gary was slowly backing him onto the bed. Gary just hummed in reply, making the mistake of meeting his lover's eyes. Ash snapped to his senses, and remembered last night. "Gary --"

"Take the hint Ashy-boy," Gary snarled possessively, going in to kiss Ash again. "And shut-up." By now, Ash was in the awkward position of leaning backwards against the bed, and he could smell Gary's hot, coffee-scented breath. He wanted to relax, he really did. He wanted to shut-up, and let Gary have his way. Have those aggressive instincts slip away... The blood. Gary had been careless, and Ash's agenda was turned outside down. He had seen the blood dried on the side of Gary's head, and he reached two hesitant fingers up to touch it. Gary jerked violently and pushed Ash down.

"Fuck, Gary, get off!" Ash snarled before Gary had a chance to cover his mouth, pushing the taller boy away with his hands, shoving Gary's bare chest away. Caught off guard, Gary stumbled back, and Ash realized that he was now much stronger then his former rival. The lustwas leaving Gary's stormy eyes just as Ash stood up. He looked wary as Ash approached him, and again Ash raised his hand to brush away the hair that he knew was hiding something. Gary caught his wrist before it could make contact with his wound, but he let go when Ash's cinnamon-coloured eyes begged him.

Ash was reminded of touching a wild pokemon. Gary's eyes still held the same dangerous, fearful, watchful look of a feral creature, but they were making an exception for Ash, whose intentions where only compassionate. Ash had been right, that Gary's aggressive, forward treatment had just been another mask to hide him. Ash was unsettled by how easily Gary could create those masks, hiding behind just what Ash wanted. It made him wonder if it was Gary's masks he had fallen in love with that time long ago, or had it been Gary himself...

Gary flinched, but closed his eyes as Ash brushed back his hair. A purple bruise and a shallow, but nasty cut was crusted by brown blood. Ash felt Gary exhale as he felt the wound gently. "It hurts." Gary mumbled, reaching up to tangle his own hand in Ash's.

"So?" Ash's words were harsh, and he pulled his hand from Gary's grasp. Gary flinched and looking up at Ash, jerking away from the painfully intense hatred in his eyes. He had forgotten, _foolishly,_ Ash's venomous dislike of alcohol. Who could blame him, when it had taken his father from him? "You can handle pain. You don't need that... That, _stuff._"

Gary gazed dully at him, glad Ash didn't know about just what _stuff_ he had been using to numb his pain. "Okay." he said blandly, unconsciously trying to piss Ash off.

"Okay? Is that all?"

"Yeah." _Little fucker doesn't even know... _Gary wasn't letting his anger come through the mask. He had felt so bad. Ash was here and he was so tired all he wanted to do was lay down for weeks. He had gotten up all his energy and what did Ash want to do? Bitch about stuff he didn't even understand.

Ash was lost for words. Gary had been drinking, even though he knew _why_ Ash wouldn't want him too. He had all but assaulted him. Now he was dismissing him in that 'ash is a loser' way of this. Gary had been bleeding. It made him worry for the future of their relationship. It was just too hard to live under the same roof. So they just stared at eachother. Gary looked... frustrated? Ash was, as usual, swimming with emotion.

"I got today off so we could..." Gary spoke, ruining the silence and dragging his dark eyes away from the disappointment in Ash's brown ones. "Do something together. If you don't want to do _that_," he flicked his hand toward the bed suggestively. "I'm looking for ideas."

Ash felt disgusted. He was trembling with anger. "What..."

Desperation entered Gary's eyes, though he still feigned his cool mask. "Look Ash, it's nothing for you to worry... Please don't cry."

"I'm not... I'm not going to cry bastard!" Ash shouted, wiping his hand over his eyes and storming out of the room. Gary followed him, but he withdrew his hand before he touched Ash's shoulder. Ash opened the door and left, slamming it behind him. Leaving Gary to wonder when he would come back. To wonder if he could get away with some more drinking without Ash finding out.

Ash ignored the doors that opened in surprise to the crash and shouting that had been coming from their neighbor. He stormed out of the building, trying to hide his watery eyes.

Jared and Dara watched unnoticed as Ash passed by them. Jared sneered arrogantly, "Had a fight with your boyfriend?" he called to Ash, and Dara glared at him with disgust.

"Wait! Ash, are you okay?" Dara called, concern etched in her voice, but Ash didn't stop. He ignored the curious eyes around him. Even if he wasn't sick with emotion, he wouldn't have noticed the pair of pale, pinched blue eyes that followed him out of the residence. He wouldn't have seen the contented smirk or the headphones.

Ash ran. He gulped the cold, damp air in his burning lungs. It wasn't Gary's fault... Why did he have to be so stubborn? If Gary want... wanted... He could... Ash couldn't quite think. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to see Pikachu. He wanted to tell his mom what a jerk Gary was. He wanted...

He really wanted Gary. He wanted to kiss Gary. He wanted Gary to stroke his hair and tell him how it would be okay, because he was predictable and selfish and liked it that way. He didn't hear anyone approach him until that someone had pulled him into an embrace and dragged him to the ground. He was shaking with emotion as Gary stroked his hair, keeping his other hand wrapped around Ash's waist. Ash lay his head against Gary's chest. He didn't close his eyes, anxiety still clutching his heart even though Gary had come. After a moment of shaky breathing and besides that, silence, Ash spoke. "Do you love me?"

"Yes." Gary answered, his firm voice wiping doubt from Ash's mind. Almost. Was it sappy to be disappointed? To expect more then 'yes'? Something like... 'I love you more then anyone in the world?'

"I love you more then anyone in the world." Ash felt the pressure in his chest dissolve at Gary's gentle words. Gary would always be here to fix things. Later Ash might reflect on how easy it was for Gary to lull him into such security, and how sincere that feeling really was. But now, he was content to relax into his lover's arms, and drift to the feeling of his steady heartbeat. "And I would tell you everything... If only you didn't love me half as much." But Gary's faint whisper fell intended on deaf ears as he held Ash under the tree.

"I'm starving!" Ash grumbled, sitting up as Gary smirked faintly, and Ash refused to acknowledge the sparkle of doubt and fear that lay in their troubled blue depths.

"Then let's get something to eat." Gary said, and Ash was reluctant to leave his warm embrace, but his stomach was more needy then his heart right now. He grabbed Gary's hand and pulled himself up off the ground, yawning.

"Can't argue with that logic." He mumbled as they came out of the forest fringe and back onto the dusty path.

"Figures, it's your sort of logic." Gary's voice rumbled with a hint of sarcasm, reaping a smile from Ash. He carefully dusted off the leaves that had attached themselves to his shirt, and Ash noticed for the first time that Gary hadn't even gotten dressed fully. Ash knew that Gary had got home and fell onto the couch after taking off his shirt, but now he had white cotton shirt on, and he was missing his tear-shaped necklace and his nametag, and the white lab coat that Ash had grown comfortable with. He felt a warm rise in his chest at the idea that Gary had followed after him without his usual thought, though he resented the cotton fabric that clung to his friend now.

"You put your shirt on." He couldn't resist pointing out to Gary, pouting slightly.

Gary grinned, flicking Ash on the side of the head with a finger. "You know, professional establishment an n'all that. Not everyone wants to see me shirtless as much as you do."

Ash tensed at the words that had caused Gary such aguish last night: _professional establishment._ "Can't see why not." Ash covered himself, hoping Gary hadn't noticed his pause. He bit back relief as Gary smiled, seemingly oblivious.

"I thought you were hungry."

"I _am!_"

_To be continued..._

I know! _Pokemon_ will appear in the next chapter, I promise! xx I hope Gary chasing after Ash wasn't too out of character -- I wanted to do something cute after the argument, even though I kind wanted to have Gary leave him.


	5. Bad Habits

**Hyper Responsibility**

chapter five

"I'm on the paths all walked before,

I'm growing tired of this and bored,

Now I forget all those who need,

Trapped in my own, closed off in grief."

_Vagabond_, Kiss Kiss

Gary smirked full-heartedly this time as Ash stuffed himself in the cafeteria. The dark haired teen was cramming his mouth full of food, and trying to carry a conversation at the same time. That is, he had been, before he noticed Gary had glanced around self-consciously as bits of food ended up on the table. Ash had stopped talking and tried to look a bit more tasteful. Gary didn't even notice his attempts to be polite as far as Ash saw, but he did stop looking around them.

Gary had glanced around rather sheepishly, embarrassed as he remembered how much of a messy and... enthusiastic eater Ash was. He realized, with a faint colour rising to his cheeks, a few of his fellow lunchers had glanced at Ash with concern.

Sweeping his eyes over the lab A cafeteria area, Gary tried not to meet the amused and annoyed glances of his colleagues who sat at the small white tables, bodies turned in their plastic gray chairs to glance at Ash. He found Dara's amused eyes, and he winced playfully at her as she laughed. Gary recognized the person sitting across from her as he met Gary's eyes, and Jared smirked nastily before tapping Dara on the shoulder and leaning over. Gary didn't bother watching him, but turned back to Ash with a troubled frown.

Ash cocked his head curiously at Gary, who snorted at the expression on his friend's face. "You're not eating." Ash mumbled, looking slightly dejected at Gary's sarcastic snort in response to his concern. Getting an idea, he then smiled coyly, using his fork for the first time to put food on, offering the rice to Gary tentatively. Gary's eyes flickered to Ash's, and then to the food, but suddenly he coughed, loudly. Ash put down the fork and started up, but Gary stopped mid-cough, placing his hands out in a classic 'stop' symbol.

"I think we should eat outside." He said, with surprising coldness that left Ash feeling even more uneasy. He tried not to let it show on his face, but Ash had never been one for disguising his emotions. Fortunately, Gary had remarkable talent in not seeing what he didn't want to. "That is," he said, though his joking voice was still devoid of warmth, "If you're not quite finished," he indicated the bowl of rice with his hands. Ash sniffed miserably, pretending to be offended, before taking Gary's bowl and putting it onto his tray. The two stood up and walked out, Gary taking the tray stiffly.

Ash eyed Gary and the tray warily for a moment, before realizing that Gary was just taking the tray to be gentlemanly, and had no intention of stealing Ash's food. Relaxing considerably, Ash chatted admirably about how nice rice was, and how he figured he might want to take up farming when he had become pokemon master. That way, he explained, he could eat as much as he wanted without ever having to pay for it.

Had Gary's hands not been occupied with carrying a tray, he may have smacked his forehead. Instead, he considerately declined telling Ash that farming took actual _work_, something that the pokemon-obsessed teen seemed incapable of doing. Instead he just nodded indulgently as they left the cafeteria doors behind while Ash prattled on.

On this side of the island, Saida truly was beautiful. The lush green canopy that had once covered most of the island was uninterrupted from his viewpoint, and the researcher found that this was one of his favorite spots on the island, reminding him of the life-changing experiences he had once enjoyed when he was free to wander the countryside of the Kanto and Johto regions. Now, he reflected briefly, he had little of the freedom he had once had, and the once luxurious-seeming Saida now seemed pale in comparison to a vast expanse of sea and air.

Now he felt more like he was studying new ways for humans to exploit the world, instead of studying the creatures he had once mean to dedicate his life to. Saida island, he had once thought, was an example of this phenomenon. Few pokemon remained on the island after another stretch of the forest had been cleared to allow for the construction of the new lab. Gary was now even thrilled to see common pidgey burst out of the trees in an angry skirmish above the treetops, when once upon a time he wouldn't have even noticed them.

Gary placed the tray down and joined it at the edge of a shallow cliff, where the stone fell away and joined the ground a few feet below, on the well-worn dirt pathway. Ash sat down beside him, wasting no time in continuing the task he had been initiating before being interrupted. He lifted the rice into the fork and offered it to Gary again. Gary grudgingly opened his mouth to Ash's delight, and the raven-haired teen fed his lover lunch.

"Still going to be a pokemon master?" Gary questioned Ash sometime later, as they walked down the pathway on the edge of the island, and Ash nodded vigorously, confirming his goal with words that didn't really reach Gary's ears, as he smiled fondly at his friend's enthusiasm.

The smile slipped away though, as Ash asked what Gary had never really wanted to answer, "Why did you stop?" Wide, chocolate coloured eyes peered at him innocently, just as sweet and stimulating as the taste of their candy-comparison.

"Stop what?" Gary said airily, knowing of course, exactly what Ash was talking about.

"Stop your own quest. You were such an incredible pokemon trainer Gary..."

Gary didn't stop walking, and his voice was artificially light, as his attempted again to sidestep the question. "Life_ is _a quest Ash. I like being a researcher. It's an orderly lifestyle. Frequent showers too." Gary made a face to prove his point, and Ash smirked, remembering with affection that Gary's neat-freak tendencies often extended to his hygiene.

"I meant for real Gary, why did you stop?"

Gary stopped walking this time, looking at Ash seriously. "I'm surprised you had to ask," he spoke, but the bitterness in his voice was quickly drained as he continued. "Ash, when we... When we became less of rivals, and more of... friends." Ash found the general word stung him. "I realized that the two of us could never both complete our goals. There is no place for a second best in the title of pokemon master. I could never take that dream away from you Ash. Not for the world." His last words were a whispered solemn promise, and Ash felt frustrated as his eyes misted up.

He didn't know whether to feel touched or shame. Had he taken away Gary's dream without realizing? After all, he remembered with a prick of guilt, in his own way, Gary had expressed the same passion and desire to meet his goal that Ash had, if not more so. "Gary..." he started, only to have the brown-haired teen take his hands in his own, holding them gently, and bring them close to his chest.

"I gave up my goal willingly, to do something else I love just as much. There's no reason for you to feel guilty. Although I knew you would," he leaned down, kissing Ash softly, his stormy blue eyes glittering faithfully. "It's one of the things I love about you."

Gary heard the knock at the door, it's harsh sound easily rousing himself from a light sleep. He shifted, before remembering that Ash was beside him. Squinting in the darkness, he smiled drowsily at Ash's sleeping form beside him, feeling as if he should have known as Ash was a deep sleeper. He leaned down to kiss Ash's forehead gently, silently realizing that it had bee the first time getting a full night's rest in weeks, before shifting the bed covers and grabbing his housecoat from the hook on the back of the door.

He wrapped the cloth-belt around him, his eyebrows knitted in annoyance as the knocking that had interrupted his precious unconsciousness remained insistent. He opened the door to find a short, pink-haired girl with thin, silverly glasses framing her wide eyes.

"Oak. Sycamore wants to see you. She requested another special report, and it's urgent that you meet her in your office promptly."

_To be continued..._


	6. A Terrible Liar

some people have mentioned in reviews that it would appear as if Sycamore is sexually abusing poor Geru! Much of this chapter might seem as set up for this; but she actually is not. Sorry ;

CHAPTER SIX

"So go on live your life.

But I miss you more then I did yesterday.

You're so far away.

So c'mon show me how.

'Cause I mean this more then words can ever say."

Give 'Em Hell Kid, My Chemical Romance

Gary Oak dropped his housecoat to the wooden floors of the room, debating whether to open the doors of his dresser and dig through them for some fresh clothes (and risk waking Ash) or to just grab the jeans and shirt he had worn the day before.

He pulled on the jeans, thanking the gods that employees were still allowed to dress casual on the island. Then, he remembered the reason he was getting dressed (and leaving Ash) at - he checked the clock - five o'clock in the morning, and decided that the gods certainly did not deserve his thanks after all.

Tugging on the black collared shirt and grabbing the small, tear-shaped pendant he wore from the beside table, he leaned over and gave Ash, still asleep in bed, a feathery kiss, before creeping out the room, through the apartment, and then slipping out the door.

The small hall lights clicked on as he hurried down the hallway, their motion sensors picking up his long, quick steps through the hall, his white lab coat flying at the edges. He wondered why, upon his arrival, that he had hurried so. Why did he care what Sycamore wanted? Why didn't he just leave . . . Gripped by a sudden fatigue, Gary closed his eyes, but the picture of the sleeping Ash embedded on his eyelids did not help at all. Get a grip, get a grip. He knew why he couldn't walk out on this job.

Summing up his confidence, he knocked on the door lightly, feeling some wretched hope that somehow Sycamore wouldn't answer . . .

Of course she did. She always did. Her narrow silvery-blue eyes and badly dyed hair did not make a warm welcome, and the sound of her odd voice, high pitched like a child yet sometimes wheezy, sent unpleasant shivers up his spine. "You called me," he said, his eyes sliding down past her to the floor. It served two purposes - it made him look pathetic and in surrender (if Ash ever saw him like this he would kill himself) and he could watch out for it. Which was sure to be nearby.

"Gary!" she said sweetly, Gary didn't understand the formality of a greeting. "Why don't you come on."

I'm fine staying outside . . . ? Gary nodded, stepping inside the apartment as Sycamore moved aside. She hovered behind him as he hesitated, the apprehension in his stomach not dissipating when met by the familiar flower-printed couch and rich, low red-brown coffee table in front of it. The lights were dim, casting a half-light half-shadow glow more then real illumination.

"Would you like some coffee?" Sycamore asked, her voice with it's usual pinch.

Coffee? Coffee? Gary wondered if it was poisoned, but probably not. Sycamore couldn't sacrifice his expertise in pokemon, despite how much she abused it. He nodded, slowly taking of his shoes and stepping lethargically over to the low couch. He sat down, watching Sycamore's back warily as she turned to the kitchen, soon to return with two steaming mugs. She gave Gary the one with the chip.

Sycamore looked at him, waiting. He took a sip under her close scrutiny and had to make an effort not to spit it out. Too much milk, no sugar. He swallowed. "Do you . . . Have any sugar?" he asked, and Sycamore pursed her lips, taking a sip of her own.

"No."

Gary stayed silent, the awkwardness pressing down on his chest. His emotions - hate, fear, defiance, defeat, shame - burned in his chest, yet he could not acknowledge the strong emotions. Because defying Sycamore meant defying everything he had worked for, the hope that everything would get better.

"Who is Ash Ketchum?" she said slowly, after taking another sip of her bitter tea.

"He's from Pallet town." Gary said, a note of melancholy in his voice, "I grew up with him. Right now he's trying to become a pokemon master." He's becoming a pokemon master, without you. One day he'll leave you behind.

"No." Sycamore leaned over, her eyes narrowing her and her voice low, as if talking to a misbehaving child. Gary stared into her pale blue eyes with his own stormy blue eyes, and perhaps she saw the spark of defiance somewhere within them, because she frowned. "I know who Ash Ketchum is. I can find out whatever I want, " - and Gary knew it was a threat - "But who is he to you? What is he to you?"

He's my boyfriend - and why was that so hard to say?

"He's an old friend," and it was true. They were old friends.

"So you're just friends?" Gary allowed his hair to hang into his eyes, as he mumbled yes. "Are you very sure you're just friends?"

Gary's fists balled up, and he would have stood up, but the low coffee table hovered just above his knees. "I told you, yes! Ash is nothing more then a friend." Anxiety creeped up his spine as he spoke, unable to meet Sycamore's pale eyes.

"You're a terrible liar Jason." Sycamore muttered darkly, and Gary looked up in confusion, startled by the director's faraway yet viciously cold voice, and the way her eyes looked through him.

"J-Jason?" Gary tried to stand up, wincing and closing his eyes as his knees hit the table painfully. He tried to lean back away from Sycamore, who leered at him from above, her eyes harboring a pale fire of anger and . . . hurt?

"Don't play stupid with me," she hissed, and Gary was truly frozen with fear, because he had seen Sycamore get like this once before, and that time . . . "I know what he is to you! I know exactly the disgusting things you do with him . . ." she was shaking with rage, and Gary's eyes were wide with confusion, yet he felt as if Skycamore was not talking to him. As if, somehow, he did not belong in this conversation between strangers. "Raichu." The ginger haired teen's head snapped to the side as a shrill voiced pokemon growled angrily, sparks flying out of it's yellow cheeks.

"Riii..." It growled threateningly, and Gary was brought back to a sharp reality, knowing the exact voltage an angry Raichu could release, he scrambled even further up the couch. "RAIIIII... CHUU!" He screamed in pain as the pokemon attacked, sending a jolt of pure electricity towards him. The dim room lit up with wild light as Gary cringed, his teeth clenched, shaking in agony. He shuddered, slumping back down to the flower printed couch he panted heavily as the attack ceased, glittering stormy eyes looking dimply up at Sycamore in pain and confusion, but searing closed again as another bolt of electricity was sent through his body.

Sycamore looked contented as she watched the young researcher wither in pain, but as his body went limp she gave a signal for the Raichu to stop. It also glowered at the body as if it had triumphed over some awesome foe, but as Gary's body did not stir, it looked at it's trainer questioningly. "Chu?" Sycamore bent down and patted the small orange mouse atop it's head.

Sycamore clicked her tongue as she looked coldly at the body of Gary, slumped on the couch. She picked up a phone from a table nearby and tapped in a number with no apparent urgency, keeping an eye on the teen's body. "Hm... Yes, it's me, Sycamore." - Gary's eyelids fluttered unconsciously -"Could you come to my apartment? I'm afraid there's been an . . . Accident."

The female voice on the end of the phone chattered in concern, "Yes, he'll be alright, but someone will need to help him back to his apartment." Sycamore answered tartly, her voice laced with impatience.

Gary groaned from behind her, his words bubbling but not coherent. The chattering on the phone had not ceased. "Now, please dear."

"Of course Auntie, I'm sorry." Sycamore clicked her tongue and hung up the phone in reply. For a second, she stared hard at Gary's body, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth, but bringing it down again as if making her mind up on how she felt. "Even if you're not him, you look so much the same." She murmured to herself, her pale blue eyes glistening thoughtfully.


	7. The Scent of Burning Flesh

HYPER RESPONSIBILITY

Finally, chapter seven. Two more chapters to go. Please bear with me and the slow updating! Reviews are love 3

**Chapter SEVEN**

Ash woke up alone. Or perhaps, being alone woke him up. "Gary?" he had murmured sleepily, but had not been answered. For a few minutes, Ash lay in bed, waiting to see if Gary had just gotten up to do something and was going to come back anytime. He did not. So Ash had to come to the conclusion that if Gary had gone away so urgently as to not wake him up, then something must be wrong. He decided to ignore the fact that Gary was working, or the fact that Gary would have never woken him up for what the other teen might consider, 'unimportant', because if he brought those to his attention, he would be staying up waiting for Gary to return instead of doing something.

Concern for his friend was beginning to envelop his mind as he fantasized on all the terrible things that could have happened. However, being in a rather foreign, and rather large research complex did not make the best conditions for a Gary rescue mission. Despite this, Ash busied himself with trying to find the light-switch in the room. When this plan failed, he fumbled in the dark for some clothes to replace the pikachu-printed PJs he donned at the moment. He found a pair of pants, that were probably Garys' (he didn't recognize the stiff fabric, so unlike his worn jeans) and grabbed an equally unfamiliar shirt, which smelled unmistakably of Gary. He then headed to the door, tripping over several pieces of furniture in the process, and fished around in the small broom closet for his shoes.

His anxiety for whatever (terrible) thing had happened to Gary had grown considerably in the time it had taken to get dressed, and he impatiently felt around in the dark of the closet's bottom for his sneakers, unaware that Gary had previously moved them to another closet in the room. He growled in frustration, and ending up taking another pair of boots from the closet.

He stuck his foot in the left boot, and yelped in surprise as his socked foot encountered a cold, hard object tucked in the bottom. He removed his foot and tipped the boot upside down, hearing a solid 'clink' as the object hit the floor. Crouching down, Ash felt the floor with his hands, struggling to find the object in the pitch darkness. His flesh again found the smooth flat circle, and he realized it was a necklace of some sort. He stuffed it in his pocket impatiently, before putting on the boots somewhat more cautiously (who knew what other sorts of junk Gary hoarded in his footgear), and then opened the door, rewarded with sight as the lights flickered on.

He didn't realize that the door had clicked shut - locked - behind him, until he looked down at his clothing and regretted not finding a light source so he could find his own. Purple shirt - indigo pants - and tan cashmere boots. He suddenly realized what the necklace would be too - but he didn't take it out to see. Just the sight of Gary's old garments had brought back bitter memories of the past. Feelings of hurt and isolation that made Ash have to remind himself that Gary had changed. That he still deserved to be rescued from whatever terrible fate had dragged him from his room in the middle of the night, despite that he hadn't burned the traces of their painful childhood.

Even so, as Ash stood in the silent hallway and tried the doorknob pathetically, his eyes started to mist. These feelings, however far away he thought they might have gone, had returned to him since first speaking with Gary on the island. Perhaps Gary had changed, but Ash was convinced that maybe he would never - could never - shed his idea that Ash didn't care; that he shouldn't share whatever troubles he had with Ash. And, Ash thought despairingly, perhaps that was the reason they could never really work out.

He tried the door once more, thoroughly put-off from his origin intentions of finding Gary, before remembering that Dara had the spare key. Feeling guilty at having to wake her up, he headed down the hall, to where he thought her room was. He wandered up one hall, before deciding that Dara's room must have been _down_ the hall from Gary's, and going the opposite way. He then retraced those steps again, torn between which the two halls her room could be in. He made up his mind and chose the door that seemed most familiar, and brought up his first to knock, but paused when the door behind him opened. He turned around, relieved to find that Dara's quizzical face was the one watching him behind her large thin glasses and dark blue hair.

"Ash? What are you doing knocking on Professor Dailie's door at this hour?" she questioned as he turned around, grinning sheepishly.

"Actually, I was looking for your door . . . I kind of, locked myself out and Gary's not in and . . . Do you know where Gary is?" he asked in a rush, ending off looking at her hopefully.

Dara smiled broadly, "Yeah, sure Ash. He's in here." Ash's heart plummeted, and he tried not to let panic claw it's way up his chest as he wondered why Gary would be in Dara's room in the night. "There was some kind of accident in the lab . . ." Dara explained, and Ash was caught between his previous assumptions and panic for Gary's safety. He could sense dishonesty behind her words, as if she wasn't telling the full truth, and it didn't help his mind at all. "Why don't you come in?"

It was true - Ash saw as he entered the small apartment - Gary was laying on the couch. His hair was spiky and tousled, and a faint and unpleasant odor hung in the room, reminding him of overcooked barbecue. For a second he was lost in thoughts of why Dara had been trying to barbecue in her apartment.

"Ash?" Gary's eyes opened, and he struggled up, grimacing in pain. Ash didn't answer him, but just looked at him, anger filling him up to a point he could swear that he was having tunnel vision, able only to see Gary, only able to direct his intense frustration at this one person.

It crashed down on him like a wave as he heard Dara pick up the phone nearby and mumble something into the receiver. He i hatred /i Gary. He had no idea how . . . How he loved him and hatred him all at once, how he had found a way to deal with it all.

"Ash?" Gary repeated slowly, but the soothing, inquiring note in his voice only made Ash angrier. Because he had to know what was going on, so he must have been pretending to not to. "Why don't you I ever _tell_ me _anything_?" he spat venomously, watching with satisfaction as Gary flinched. Gary opened his mouth, but Ash wasn't nearly finished. "I'm tired of you not letting me in. I want to know what you're going through - "

"Look Ash!" Gary was also angry now, and he struggled to sit up, even though his narrowed eyes were glazed in pain. "I don't want another speech right now."

"Another what?" Ash erupted.

"Another speech. Lecture. Story on how I should live my life to make everything better in a heartbeat." Gary snapped, "Why don't you save it for an interview? I'm sure there's lots of saps out there who need advice from the next pokemon master on how to live a happy little fantasy life with their happy families and happy jobs."

Dara's voice floated by on the phone, but both of the teens were deaf to it, concentrated so intensely on aiming the next verbal blow at the other. "Yes, here's here . . ."

"I never said - " Ash's anger was ebbing to be replaced by hurt. "If that's what you really think - I just - "

"Ash, Gary. . ." Dara squeaked hesitantly.

"F - Fine." Ash snapped, and he turned away from Gary. He heard the brunette gasp in pain, and spun around again, realizing Gary must be trying to get up to stop him from leaving.

"N - No! Ash don't, I don't want you to go outside, without me!" he said, panic laced in his voice, unable to lift his searing body from the couch.

"Afraid I'll offend someone with my stories on how people should live their lives?" Ash sneered, turning his back on Gary once again, noting that Dara was hovering nearby awkwardly.

"No. Ash please - "

"I'm sorry Gary, that's just what my mom told me when I was a kid. That friends support eachother. Sorry if I'm just another sucker. Maybe if you weren't so busy being an asshole you might have learned what friendship really was."

Ash heard the _whumff _of breath from Gary and felt triumph stir in his chest. Maybe Gary would realize now - that it was too late. That no matter how much they wished it would have never happened, that Ash would never forgive Gary for the way that he had turned his back on his "friend" as a child.

Maybe it was selfish and unfair. But Ash hoped Gary was in pain. He wanted Gary to carry pain with him forever. And if he wanted to bear that alone, it was his decision. He turned away, and walked out the door. Dara's worried voice echoed behind him, "Gary, you're really in no condition to move right now"

Ash slammed the door, imagining Gary's dumbfounded face, savoring it in his mind. He was in darkness again once more, before the lights flickered on again, and he saw the pale blue eyes of Professor Sycamore waiting for him in the hall.


End file.
